Back at the farmhouse, Bubba and Oliver still sat talking at the dining room table. Jenny had left the room, presumably to begin her search for Oliver’s “match”, but left the men a pan of cornbread. Both of them were eating a piece of it. Bubba spoke first with a full mouth.

“Y’know, this match thing might be a good thing. I mean, don’t you ever miss you some good cooking like this here?”

“I get along fine. Every Wednesday, I go down to Anderson’s for my good steak. Sometimes, I come over here for a meal. I do just fine.”

“Well, what about t’other?”

“Other? Other what?”

“You know...don’t you miss a woman in bed? If I didn’t have my Jenny to fix me up five or six times a week, I’d be out there getting friendly with the hogs prob’ly.”

“Well, I...I suppose...I...well, yes, of course. Of course I miss it.”

“What’chu do about it?"

“Listen, my sex life is none of your concern.”

“Fair enough, but by golly, it’ll be my concern if I get a say in your match. What kinda woman you like, anyways?”

“Well, you knew Ellen...that kind of woman.”

“Weeeell, there ain’t no women like her around here...leastways, not that I met. Ellen was a different kinda woman. All country, but prim and proper, like you, and a dinky little thing too.”

“Me? Prim and proper?”

“Sure, Oliver,” Bubba said, slapping Oliver on the back. “You ain’t nothing but a city boy, born and bred. It shows right through.”

“You always say that.”

“No, but what I meant before was, what kinda woman you like in bed?”

“Oh, good grief, just choose me a woman, I’ll take her out, and we can end all this nonsense. I don’t care if she looks like Satan and’s big as a house. Let’s just get it done.”

“Now that ain’t no kinda attitude. Don’t you wanna find you a wife?”

“I’m not overly concerned about it, Bubba. It’s not a priority with me. I’m only permitting this match nonsense to try to put an end to Jenny’s preoccupation with it.”

“Well, you thinking wrong then. Jenny ain’t never gonna give up on you. It’s just her way.”

“Well, she agreed that she wouldn’t mention matching me anymore if I let her match me once.”

“Huh. You know what?”

“What?”

“I don’t think you’s married long enough to Ellen. You don’t know beans about women. When it comes to love and romance, there ain’t no rules for a woman.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ain’t you never seen a woman with some rotten guy before? It don’t make no difference if he drinks like a fish and gets friendly with goats on Saturdays...if she looooooooves him, she’s gonna have him.”

“What’s that got to do with Jenny?”

“Women see and hear what they wanna see and hear when it comes to love. I guaran-dang-tee you Jenny didn’t hear nothing about not bothering you after finding you a match. What she heard you say was, ‘Jenny, find me a wife’. She’d agree to tea with Hitler for a chance to find you a wife, but dang if she’ll hold her side of the bargain. Women don’t follow no rules or sense when it comes to romance. Or maybe they just got their own rules...women’s rules.”

“You mean to tell me that Jenny’s gonna hound me about this match stuff until I die?”

“Or get married.”

“Well...what...I...Don’t you have any pull with her at all? Can’t you tell her to stop?” Oliver asked helplessly.

“How?”

“Why...just...tell her.”

“Didn’t I just say women hear what they wanna hear? She’d say she’s gonna stop maybe, but dang if she’d actually do it. It’s women’s rules.”

“Well…that’s just...silly. Women’s rules. You might just as well say ‘no rules’.”

“I did say that.”

“Are you trying to tell me that all women belong to some kind of romance mafia?”

“Hey, that’s good...romance mafia. That’d make Jenny like a hitman, wouldn’t it? And you’d be the mark. That’s a good whaddayacallit.”

“Analogy?”

“Yeah, that’s the word. Analogy. That’s it. They’re all gangsters of looooove.”

“Oh, that’s ridiculous. Here, I’ll just go in there and have a talk with Jenny and make sure she understands the terms of the match.”

“You do that. It won’t make no difference. She’s gonna do what she’s gonna do. It’s women’s rules.”