FROM BOOK WERM

But Louis’ bedding store had prospered. Bella’s sales skills sabotaged customer’s intentions perhaps only to refresh a featherbed ticking. Often, they did not leave before placing an order for satin finery with which to dress their beds. Most days she stayed in the store on the ground floor of the three story building they had purchased years ago. Now, she wanted to spend more time as a mother and homemaker. So they asked Anna to relieve Bella of the burdensome bookkeeping she hated. Anna went to the store one or two days a week. She was conscientious and competent, but even so, Natan saw to it that Louis overpaid his daughter for the service she provided the small business.

RESPONSE

I don't think "sabotaged" is the right word. Unnecessary verbiage clutters your meaning. Also, there’s two women providing service to this business; which one is Natan’s overpaid daughter? I’m guessing it was Bella. Read it cut by 30%:

Louis’s bedding store prospered with Bella’s sales skills. She often convinced customers to order satin finery rather than plain ticking. Most days, she worked in the ground floor store of the three-story building they purchased years ago, but now, she coveted more time as a mother and homemaker. So they asked Anna to work one or two days a week to relieve Bella of the bookkeeping she hated. Though Anna was conscientious and competent, Natan still ensured Louis overpaid Bella.