I'm going to take a little Independence Day vacation, so no updates next week, but I'll be back on the 14th to soothe your addiction to my site.
Oliver finished cleaning the dinner dishes and just sat down to read his Book, when the phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Oliver. It’s Jess. How’s Preston?”
“Hi, Jess. Oh, he’s full of spit and vinegar.”
“Believe me, I know exactly what you’re talking about. Is he busy? Can I talk to him?”
Oliver pushed aside a curtain to look out a window. The creature squatted on his haunches looking very much like a baboon in the sunset. “Well, he can’t come to the phone right now. He’s tied up at the moment.”
“Oh, is he having a good time?”
“I’d say he’s having the time of his life.”
“Oh, good. I knew he’d like living on a farm. There’s so many boy things to do.”
“That there is.”
“Have you had any trouble with him?”
“Well, we had a few bumps at first, but I think we’re starting to understand each other.”
“Oh, I’m so glad! You have no idea what a comfort it is to know Preston’s with family who loves him.”
“I’m happy to help, Jess. You know that. And don’t worry about a thing. He’s safe and sound, and I’ll care for him like one of my prize animals.”
“Well, he ought to be treated like a king then, the way you treat your animals.”
“That’s right.”
“Well, I just wanted to check in and let you know that Ronnie and I are going on a little ten-day excursion, and we probably won’t be able to call you during that time.”
“Not a problem, Jess. Don’t worry about a thing. Set your mind at ease.”
“Oliver...you’re just wonderful. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Thank you so much.”
“Think nothing of it. Just enjoy your trip. We’re fine.”
“Thank you, Oliver. I’ll try to call in a few days.”
“I’ll talk to you then.”
“Bye-bye.”
“Good-bye.” Oliver hung up the phone and walked out the front door. The door banged behind him and drew the creature’s eyes toward him. He walked to the edge of the porch and leaned against a post.
“How are you?” asked Oliver.
“What do you care?”
“I care much more than you know.”
“Yeah, right.”
There was a pause. A mourning dove cooed from a nearby tree.
“It’s a lovely evening, don’t you think?”
The creature glared at Oliver. “Huh. No.” The creature stood up. “Hey, I have to go to the bathroom.”
Oliver gestured to the field. “Help yourself.”
“But I have to poop. Can’t I use your toilet?”
“Toilets are for humans. Now I might be induced to bring you your water from there, if you like, but I would do it only as a kindness in consideration of your preference.”
“I can’t go out here!”
“Animals do it all the time. Don’t worry; I’ll clean up the area every few days.”
“I’m not an animal! I’m human! Can’t you see that? Let me go! What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing is wrong with me. I’m fine. What makes you ask a question like that?”
“Because you’re treating me like this. Why are you treating me like this? This is abuse. You’re gonna go to jail when my parents hear about how you treated me.”
Oliver bowed his head. “I just spoke with your mother, you know.”
The creature approached Oliver. “How come you didn’t let me talk to her? What did she say? What did you tell her?”
“I said we were doing just fine, and I told her to enjoy her trip and not to worry about a thing.”
“Fine! You would say that! I’m not fine! Why didn’t you let me talk to her?”
“I thought it best not to trouble her about your terrible behavior.”
“My terrible behavior? Mine? You are crazy! You didn’t let me talk to her because you knew I’d blow the whistle on you and this little...torture farm you’re running.”
“Heh, heh.” Oliver bowed and shook his head. “I’ll see you in the morning. Maybe the world will look a little better to you then.”
The creature scowled in the dwindling light. “I doubt it.”
Oliver turned to go into the house when the creature called out to him, “Hey, what am I gonna use for toilet paper?”
“You’re smart enough to figure it out.”
The creature saw some low hanging branches of the tree. “What...leaves? You want me to wipe with leaves? Come on, gimme some toilet paper at least.”
“See you in the morning.”
After Oliver walked into the house, the creature collapsed to the ground in a tearful, cursing fit. He vowed revenge and growled out horrible tortures he would inflict upon his captor should he escape. He ended his short tirade by pounding his fist on the ground three times accompanied by angry guttural cries. Then he lay on his back and looked up into the darkening sky with an exasperated, whining sigh. After a few short seconds, he bounded to his feet and raced to the tree, pulled down his underwear, and squatted behind it. He looked up at the leaves in the tree with fiery anger and doubtful fear.