FROM BOOKWERM

Hi--this is the sentence. If you can rewrite it more clearly please feel free. But my concern in this post is the hypenation used to describe the kitchen. Is it correct? Is the description vivid?

Until Nick left home to marry Pearl, he, his parents, his unmarried sisters and Rosie and Bobby dined together each evening in the their large old fashioned, yellow-enamel-painted kitchen. Now Bobby and Nick had certainly become more than friends.

RESPONSE

Unless it's somehow important, I'd just lose all the adjectives, and you need a better verb in that last sentence. So something like this:

Until Nick left home to marry Pearl, he, his parents, his sisters, Rosie, and Bobby dined each evening in their large kitchen. Now Bobby and Nick certainly enjoyed more than friendship.

If it's important, I'd probably say "painted in yellow enamel" instead of the hyphens.