FROM GILBERT
I have described an apartment and its many residents in several paragraphs of a story. The first sentence of a new paragraph follows. Is it awkwardly written?
My parents, two brothers and I lived more commodiously and quietly on the floor below in the exact space directly beneath Harriet’s larger family’s apartment.
RESPONSE
Yeah, awkward. Don't think I've ever seen "commodious" used as an adverb before, and you could replace it with a simpler word. Unnecessary verbiage. Two possessives in a row is almost always a bad idea. Try this:
My parents, two brothers, and I lived quietly in a more roomy apartment directly beneath Harriet and her larger family.