I have a neice who is a single mother to two young boys. In the weeks previous to a Christmas, God persistently hounded me to send her some money and a note of encouragement. I found the note in my correspondence folder and was about to delete it when it occurred to me that other single mothers might take encouragement from it. So...here it is.
God has put you on my mind again. You must be very special for Him to take such an interest in you. He pestered me consistently about you for the last few weeks, so I’m really doing this to get Him off my back, lol.
God has put it in my mind to write you a note of encouragement about your boys. I know when my children were small, Donita would often express her feelings of inadequacy in her parenting. As you know, we home schooled our kids. Donita often felt she was harming our kids, not giving them the advantages they deserved, perhaps even scarring them for life. If my wife had those feelings even in a reasonably healthy intact family, I imagine they might be multiplied in the mind of a single mother. You might feel you’ve made mistakes and are making mistakes that harm your boys irrevocably, maybe even in darker hours, that they would be better off without you. I’d like to tell you a little story.
It was on a bad day, one of those days calculated to discourage you, where nothing seems to go right. Donita came to me in tears explaining how she was a complete failure that day. The kids were completely unmotivated and learned nothing, they were rude and bickering all day, and she was convinced she was raising serial murderers.
I listened for awhile, then asked, “Did you love the kids today? Did you tell them you loved them and hug them?”
She looked puzzled. “Well, yes...no problem there, but...”
“Then it was an unbelievably successful day. Do you know how many kids do not have the assurance that they are loved? They live feeling uncertain whether they are even worthy of love. My kids are heads and shoulders above those kids. Today they learned that even when they are at their most unlovable, they are loved. Because of you, my kids have a confidence, a firmness of character that will guide them through life. They will carry that love to their own children.”
So it is with you. Those boys look to you for love, and aside from salvation, there is no greater lesson they can learn and take to heart. Knowing the tenderness of your heart, I can think of no better person to impart that lesson. So stay strong and be confident that in spite of bad grades, naughtiness, and sassiness, God will fill in the cracks and smooth the rough spots. And those boys will “rise up and praise you” one day.
I hope this bit of money will help make your Christmas a little merrier and lessen a few worries. You know God is powerfully on your side and wonderfully blesses you with good parents, and if I may be so bold, an admiring uncle, lol.
God bless you and Merry Christmas!
Uncle John